Demons

Izzy has turned into a little monster lately.  Actually, I guess she's always had that monster-like personality, but lately, it's been coming out more often.  The crying!  And screaming!  And stomping!  And defiance!  And...she's not the only one.  Keith has been testing my patience more and more lately.  I would just chalk this up to another pregnancy symptom--maybe this growing of a new human being is making me a bit cranky--but John has confirmed my suspicions.  The littlest Q's are acting out.

Probably I'm not handling it well.  Probably I'm yelling way, way too much.  Probably my bag of tricks is completely empty.  Probably I assume that a 7- and 9-year old should be a bit more reasonable and well, ADULT than they are.  Probably I need to get a clue and pay more attention to them, huh?

So I will.  I will try to chalk in some more one-on-one time with all three of the kids.  And John is going to try to do more one-on-one things also.  It's just so hard.  Mary swims four nights out of five.  And John works late most nights.  This has really put a damper on any kind of family time--let alone one-on-one time.  Lately, Keith has had a pitching clinic on Wednesdays.  So while Mary is swimming, John is with Keith for the pitching, and Izzy and I are alone.  I haven't really taken advantage of this time in the first few weeks.  I sat and read while Izzy played and played and played (although, really, she does need some alone playtime without her older siblings bossing her around so much, too).  This Wednesday, John reminded me to DO SOMETHING with her.  Oh yeah!  So, I decided to take her out for a simple dinner.

(Amusing part.  An acquaintance called just before we were getting ready to leave.  When I told her that Izzy and I were going to do a one-on-one dinner, she says, "Hey!  Where are you going?  Maybe my daughter and I could come!"  Um, REALLY?)

Anyway, we ended up just heading to the grocery store.  Hey, she really wanted to go there!  They have huge slices of pizza and an amazing salad bar!  Izzy got her pizza; I got a turkey and pepper jack wrap.  We shared a sweet tea.  And then we bought her some grape tomatoes for her lunches.  And we bought the frosting and cinnamon candies she needed for the gingerbread house decorating her class will do later this month.  And there was no yelling or screaming or defiance.

I worry about how we're going to juggle this all when (still nameless) baby #4 gets here.  My lovely three are all mostly independent now.  They don't need me to help them get dressed (although I still pick out Izzy's clothes) or wipe their butts (thank heavens) or even to pack their lunches (although I need to keep an eye out to make sure that they are packing more than just crackers).  But they do still need me to talk to them and read them a bedtime story every now and then and check their homework (Oh!  The homework!).  And they just need ME.  And JOHN.  And I know, I know that this will all work itself out eventually but I also know that getting there is going to be a struggle.  And I'm not looking forward to battling through this while I'm nursing and sleep-deprived and will probably have screaming, yelling, defiant kids arguing with me over stupid things and the only response I can think of is to scream and yell back.  Ugh.