What are you gonna do with your life?!

I WANNA ROCK!

Er, well, not quite. But now that I'm having to drive almost 45 minutes every day to and from work, it gives me quite a lot of thinking time. Well, when the kids aren't being so noisy that I can't even focus on driving, let alone thinking. (Boy, is this drive going to be fun in the winter!) Anyrate, as noticed with my previous post, I'm thinking a lot about my job and how I don't really like it that much. The pay is great, the benefits are greater, but there is still something lacking in it. Perhaps it's just that I've worked for this company for eight years and in my current position for six. Perhaps it's the fact that I'm in a union, so--despite the great pay and benefits--I've somehow or another been screwed out of a promotion several times due to asinine rules--from both the union and the company. I get told time and time again what a great employee I am, but I feel no benefits arising from it. I am STUCK.

So, what do I do? Isn't it interesting that I have a degree and yet no idea how to use it anymore. My teaching license expired five years ago (and was only good in Indiana, anyway). If I wanted to go into teaching again, I'd have to get my master's degree. We don't exactly have the cash for me to pursue that. While going through the angst of trying to figure out how to stay at home with my kids, I thought about and pursued all kinds of different options: selling crap from home, running a day care, becoming a medical transcriptionist, etc., etc. But nothing really sounded like it would fit my life or fit "ME"--or was too expensive to get into.

What a position to find myself in. Too qualified for some jobs, not qualified enough (and no money to get it) for others. But what it all boils down to is: I don't know what I want to do. I don't know what kind of job to pursue to feel as if I'm doing something worthwhile and not robbing myself of time with my husband and kids. So I stay at the same old job, afraid of losing the great pay/benefits that so many other jobs lack now-a-days, and wait perhaps for fate to intervene. Maybe we'll move out of Rochester--nope, that's not going to happen NOW. Hmmm...maybe when my union's contract comes up in February, I'll get laid off--not likely, but ya never know. Maybe a giant bundle of cash will fall from the heavens and right into my lap. Maybe I'll get some sort of miraculous flash from God telling me what would suit me and my lifestyle perfectly. Yeah, right.

So all these thoughts swirl round and round my head while I drive 45 minutes to and from work (when I'm able to block out the kids, that is). What the heck AM I gonna do with my life? Now that our housing situation is no longer temporary, what can I do to improve my vocation?

*sigh* I need a shorter drive.