In the Moment

Most of my life now seems rush, rush, rush. Rush poor Izzy out the door to daycare (while rushing the other two to finish their breakfast and pack their lunches). Rush to work. (...Well, THEN there is the SLOW DRAG at work, but....) THEN rush home to get Izzy from daycare, rush to fix dinner, and then rush the kids into bed. And I just don't get to fully relax until the three kids are in bed. And then I stop and realize that I've become one of THOSE mothers. The ones who basically PUT OFF their life until the wonder of bedtime. I've spent so much time rushing the day (except for that long-ass work day), that I'm completely blocking my LIFE.

I do not want to live my own life--and especially not my kids' lives--in a complete rushing blur.

So! No more selfish (albeit exhausted) Mom. Instead of saying, "I just don't have time to read to you tonight" because I want to crawl into my own bed and read to MYSELF, I'm going to take that five minutes to read yes, ANOTHER Biscuit book. Instead of putting them off while I'm on my weekly phone call to my mother, I'll keep an eye on the clock and actually PLAY with them when I get off. And instead of being ANNOYED every time they don't do stuff in a timely manner, I'll try harder to 1) get up earlier and 2) focus more on their FUN, QUIRKY personalities instead of barking at them to HURRY UP.

Cuz I don't need to spend my life constantly bullying my kids out the door. I need to spend more time finding my moments of zen--and enjoying them.