Last Day

It's the last day of school and coupled with the increasingly-horrible job situation I have found myself in, I am finding myself sighing and lamenting over the fact that I won't be home with the kids this summer.

Last summer was absolutely beautiful.

I am frustrated that I let "little things" like the rigors of early motherhood and lack of money keep me from getting my permanent teaching license. How silly of me! (That was said mostly tongue in cheek--as I do realize that there was not much I could have done to change the $ situation!)

Well, I am frustrated that despite the fact that I KNOW I could do any number of jobs (I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggonit...), I do not have the experience in anything but clerical work--leaving me feeling way over-educated and under-paid for the jobs I can manage to reel in.

But the flip side is....I did what I needed to do for my family. And despite professional (and monetary!) frustrations, I CANNOT be too harsh on myself or the lot I have in my life. I've got a great husband, three great kids, and I did get ONE year to be home with those kids. And when I needed to, I did the right thing and went back to work for them.

And I keep hoping that once they get a little older, and more of that @#$% student loan debt is paid off, then maybe, just maybe, I can go back to school and get that Master's, and focus a little more on ME.

Now is their time. My time will come.

Until then, I will keep putting on my happy face. I will keep looking for whatever opportunities to enhance my working life may come. And I will shuttle the kids to day care where I know that they will have a fun, relaxing summer.

And maybe it's time to start playing the lotto....