I did everything wrong

I know I've been more silent in the blogging front, but honestly, it's hard to write when most of your life is obsessing about job searching, and you're all all panicked that your potential employers are probably spying on your blog....  So, the less said the better, right?  But I feel I have to describe my latest interview, cuz, well, it really had me laughing afterwards.

First off, I calculated exactly when I needed to get into the shower to get cleaned up, shaved, dressed, hair done, panty hose on and presentable in enough time to drive down to my interview AND find a parking spot.  Only...I didn't think to mention all this to my husband.  The moment I start to head to the bathroom, does he not get up and get in himself?  (WHY change your shower time on THIS day?  WHY???)  So I recalculated, and figured out that I would jump in the OTHER shower the very SECOND he turned off HIS shower.  And cut the shaving time down to just the knees where the only actual leg exposure occurs.  OK, good.  Accomplished.  But while I'm then running around and getting all that pre-stuff done, I notice:  a rogue sandwich sitting on the countertop that some child forgot to put in her lunchbox AND that ANOTHER child forgot to bring her instrument to school and it's orchestra day!  Gah!  So after the get-ready rush, I grab those things and rush them to school and then rush back to the car where I then go to grab the post it note to find the name/address of my interviewer (the whole pad being hurridly carefully stashed inside my bag), and...it's not there.  Good thing I conveniently had the address written down in the car (and kinda knew where the building was, anyway). 

So!  Rush downtown with considerably LESS finding-parking-spot time, but you know, I still make it sort of OK.  But...the garage is quite full, so I have to park all the way on the roof, and boy! are these elevators slow, so I'll just run down the stairs quickly in my high-heeled boots and thank goodness they have a walkway that goes over the street and...whew!  Made it with 2 minutes to spare (instead of the 15 I was going for).  So while I'm waiting out of breath for my interviewer, I notice the HOLE in my stocking, of COURSE right in the middle of my freaking knee and I've got NO WAY to turn this around, guess I'll have to cross my knees just so, and then I'm polishing off my cruddy, smudged glasses and eep!  there she is!  heh, heh--hi?! 

We have quite a ways to walk to the conference room, and the mirrored elevators we pass reveal to me that...my hair has apparently become disheveled in my four-flight run down the garage steps???  Oh...hey...that's...cool.....

She asks me for a copy of my resume, which hey, I've ALWAYS got one of those in my bag, except...apparently...TODAY??? (what the...?)  But it kinda passes off since she remembers that she already printed out my resume in preparation for the interview. 

NOW comes the part that I can't honestly believe.  While I was rooting around for my resume and amusing her with stories of my two girls and two GS troops, I come across some lip balm.  I don't even stop to think--I just grab it and PUT IT ON RIGHT AT THE START OF MY FREAKING INTERVIEW!!!  Who DOES that?  Not someone who seriously wants a job, right?  OMG, just stamp my forhead with LOSER and get it over with, OK????

At this point I figure that the cat is out of the bag, and I've got nothing to lose.  It's not even a permanant position--it's a temp job--so why get myself all in knots?  So I'm even more, I don't know "relaxed and carefree?" than I normally would be for an interview (which has BURNED ME previously).  And I even get to walk the interviewer out the door and all the way to the parking lot roof (where she was also parked) where we chat a little about our kids and shopping and...you know, STUFF.

The kicker--I got the job.  It's just a temp job.  It's just part-time.  It's only going to last through the first week of January.  But hey, at least for a few weeks, I'll be getting a paycheck.  And I haven't seen one of those in a year....

Happy Birthday to me!