One mean mama

Mary had a front tooth DANGLING for the last three weeks. The very first week, John asked me not to "obsess" about it (who me?), so I let it go. And let it go. And tried very, very hard NOT to pester her about it. But, oh my God, it was just HANGING there. I tried to be nice. I tried to offer my help (I have, in fact, pulled all of her previous loose teeth but one--which I ended up finding out that a teacher at school pulled for her....which I thought was kind of strange....). I tried vanity. "Grandpa would LOVE to see you with both teeth missing. Can we pull it so that he can see while he's here?" and "Remember how cute Katie looked with her two front teeth out? You will be SO cute! Let's get it out now!" I tried teasing, "The tooth fairy has been knocking on the door for the last two weeks, are you going to finally let her in?" I tried the sanitary argument, "Honey, I think if you leave it too long, you might cause your gums to get sick." Laughable. Realizing that she seemed very adamant on pulling the tooth herself, I even offered bribery, "The tooth fairy will probably leave you more money if you pull it yourself." No avail. She was scared. And wanted that tooth to just fall out of its own accord.

I tried so hard to be understanding. Even though Mary had been through this four other times, it IS a bit of a trauma to go through. I let it go. And let it go.

On the night that her toothbrush just barely touched the tooth and it started to bleed, I tried to be demanding. "It's gone on long enough. It MUST come out. NOW." Seriously. Only a quarter of the tooth was still stubbornly attached. How easy to pull it! No go.

Finally last weekend, my "unobsessive obsessiveness," i.e. pestering/nagging, must have finally got to her (not to mention the reassuring confidences of her best friend Katie who said SHE ALWAYS pulled her own teeth). She tried all weekend to pull her tooth. She would tug and pull for minutes on end until she would get frustrated and stop--while my mind was screaming, "Just one more tug! Surely! She CAN'T be pulling hard enough!" But, I let it go. She will do it when she's ready darnit! LET IT GO!

Then comes Monday. We get a neat little notice from the school that Friday is to be Picture Day. I'm looking at that stubborn dangling tooth in Mary's mouth--which is SO loose that it is pushed over to practically the middle of her mouth. Oh no. NOT on picture day. THIS will not do.

So I entreated her again. She was determined to stay on her course of non-action. And I let it go for just a few more days....

Wednesday night was Curriculum Night. John went, and I stayed home with our three darlings. And decided that it was to be the night of the attack.

After begging and consoling and giving reassurances ("Remember, it only hurts for a second?"), I finally had to lay down the law. And get mean.

It's not my finest hour. I definitely should have let it go. But the thought of that horribly hanging tooth in her school yearbook, my own vanity of what my kid looked like, got precedence. And I pulled her tooth. And she was not happy about it. She fought and fought and screamed--even after giving me permission to do it. And if I hadn't had to fight with her, it would have only taken 10 seconds (and why wouldn't she listen to REASON when I told her so in the beginning?). 'Cause that tooth was just BEGGING to come out, folks.

And not even 10 SECONDS after it was out, Mary was FINE. And giddy. And so very, very happy to see her tooth and to put it in the pocket of the little stuffed tooth fairy doll she'd gotten years ago from Grandma Mary.

So, did I do the right thing? Even John reassured me that indeed, the tooth HAD to come out before Picture Day. Seriously, you just should have SEEN it, folks. And Mary even reported her teacher saying, "Wow. I thought that tooth would NEVER come out." So, others were obviously noticing it. And upon rinsing the tooth in the sink, I even noticed food particles in it, and who knows how long they were stuck there and whether or not, if left alone, that darn tooth may have caused an infection or SOMETHING icky to grow in her tender gums.

But I wish I could have held out a little longer. Wish Picture Day could have been put off for another week. Wish I could have had the self-control to let her do her own thing and pull it in her own time. Because she really, really needs to learn to do this. And I really, really need to learn to let her.

But, last week, in the middle of all this drama, Mary discovered yet another loose tooth. Guess I'll have another chance to let her do it her own way--even if it's just letting it go until it falls out of its own accord, and she runs the risk of swallowing the tooth in her sleep (seriously, obsess much?).

I will try very hard.

And hope that she does not need a re-take of her pictures.